Musk Recommends Autocopulation To "Blackmailer" Advertisers

It's unclear how the unorthodox recommendation might revive falling ad revenues at X/Twitter.

Self-sex is occasionally observed in some species of hermaphroditic worms.

Elon Musk has informed advertisers who have fled X/Twitter over concerns about his supposedly antisemitic posts that they should engage in autocopulation.

The tech mogul suggested the activity, which sometimes occurs in certain hermaphroditic worms but that is unusual for humans, in the wake of a running argument about the social media platform's attitude towards Jewish individuals. X's advertising algorithm has previously juxtaposed adverts for IBM and other major corporations with content glorifying Nazism.

IBM Withdraws Ads from X After Exposure Of Nazi-Linked Content
IBM halts advertising on Elon Musk’s X following exposure of their ads next to pro-Nazi content.

From Twitter To Ex

It is unclear why Musk feels that the act of self-sex is a constructive means of addressing the problem of plummeting ad revenues, which poses an existential threat to Twitter, or "Ex", as it is now known. However, as the world's wealthiest and most intelligent man, Musk's words are pored over by millions of analysts for hidden meaning, in an attempt to glean insights that could be converted into financial gain.

Who Is Bob?

Elon appeared to single out one individual in his cryptic recommendation, made in response to an interviewer's question at The New York Times' DealBook Summit. The tech entrepreneur requested that those seeking to "blackmail" him by removing their ads from his platform should not, in fact, advertise on his platform. "Don't advertise. I don't want them to advertise," he said.

This was then followed by his much-examined statement: "If somebody's gonna try to blackmail me with advertising, blackmail me with money? Go f*** yourself.... Is that clear? I hope it is. Hey, Bob, if you're in the audience."

Some analysts believe that "Bob" might refer to Robert "Bob" Iger, CEO of Disney, which recently pulled advertising from X over antisemitism claims. However, as a human, Disney's chief executive would be unsuited to activities that are typically only undertaken by hermaphrodites in extreme situations.

A 2000 study from Life Science Research hints at the possibility that "Bob" might be an F1 hybrid of Red Crucian Carp (♀) × Common Carp (♂), a species in which self-fertilisation has been observed, though one was not present in the DealBook Summit audience. Neither is it clear how a carp might go about blackmailing the world's wealthiest human.


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